Play and Your Tween

>> Monday, April 20, 2009

Last week for the Carnival of Play I wrote a series on Play from birth to 2 yrs. Today I thought I would swing the pendulum the opposite direction and talk about play during the tween years. I was going to include the teen years, but since I am not quite there yet I am probably not the best for giving out that dish of advice. I'm hoping that by the time we get there we will have laid enough ground work and spent enough time with our children that they will still enjoy hanging out with mom and dad on occasion.
I think that play during the tween years is probably just as important as play during infancy. Just for different reasons of course. This is a way for parents to connect with your tween, who is probably fumbling along trying to find their way to independence. Don't let this pulling away fool you into thinking that they don't want you involved anymore. Really deep down they do, you just have to find a way to make sure they know that your door is always open. That's where play can come in handy. During play you can communicate in ways that you wouldn't otherwise be able to get them to talk. It takes some of the pressure off them when you are both involved in an activity together. Something about being busy and not having to look at you while they speak, helps them open up a bit more about what is going on in their life, who they like, what problems they may be experiencing. Your role during this time is just to be there. Listen to your child. Provide guidance. Do your best to not get angry about what may come out during these conversations. You want your child to know that they can come to you about anything and you aren't going to blow up. That doesn't mean if there is behavior that is inappropriate to ignore it. Just provide some guidance at that point and later (at a separate time & when you are not about to blow) talk about discipline if there needs to be some.
Play at this stage in life can fall into many categories.

  • Sports - We try to enforce a rule with our tweens that they must participate in a sport, either at school or extracurricular. Also we don't let our kids quit. They have to stick with it until the end of the season. This teaches them to play as a team, teaches them about not quitting something even though you may not like it. And it also gives us a way to play with them. We can practice with them and gives us an opportunity to talk.
  • Cooking - If your child wants to learn how you make something, teach them. Both of my older kids still like to decorate cookies. Spend an afternoon baking, decorating and talking. Our newest thing is decorating cupcakes.
  • Arts and Crafts - My daughter loves to make cards and scrapbook with me. While we are working on creating something we have a chance to catch up on what's going on at school and with all her friends.
  • Fishing - This is something my husband and oldest son love to do. This gives them a way to connect. Something about men and fishing. My daughter also likes to try and fish (me- not so much) so this is a great way for daddy and daughter to get some one on one time together.
  • Hiking - This can be something as simple as a walk around the neighborhood. (Especially good at night, when it is dark. They seem to open up easier when you aren't lOOking at them.) Or if there is some place they have always wanted to visit, make an afternoon hike of it.
  • Cards - This is another fun activity. This can be done as a family or just one on one.

So find an activity that you and your tween have some interest in and find a way to connect to them. Lots of activities can be done together as a family. Try to find time for each child to get some alone time with a parent. It's much easier to talk when there isn't an audience, or the worry of a sibling embarrassing them later with information. Annie from PhD in Parenting wrote an article on the importance of one on one play. While it is geared for the younger child, many of the key points also apply for the tween.

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Menu Plan Monday

I'm giving this another go. I seem to do well posting this for a couple of weeks, and then I disappear. I swear I still menu plan even when I don't post. I couldn't imagine trying to buy groceries for a week if I didn't have some sort of plan. I am only listing what I will be cooking. It's sort of like a restaurant around here - I follow (or attempt to) a raw diet during the day - mainly green smoothies and salads, with breakfast and lunches for the kids being whatever they want that day. Here is this week's supper plan for your enjoyment.

Monday - Stuffed Shells (scroll down to Wednesday), Garlic bread and salad

Tuesday - Tacos, Spanish Rice/Taco salad for me.

Wednesday - Crock pot Pork Roast, potatoes, carrots and salad. (If really ambitious may make rolls)

Thursday - Leftovers & Salad (Hubby works late so I try to keep it easy on Thursdays)

Friday - Pizza & Salad

For more Menu Plan Monday ideas head over to Laura's from I'm an Organizing Junkie.

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Play With Me (Part 3)

>> Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sorry that I'm late getting this up. Yesterday ended up really busy, then we had company in the evening. By the time everyone was settled, I was passed out with the baby. That's the way it goes sometimes. I decided to write first thing this morning, that way I can't get too busy or too tired.

Here is part three in my series of play from birth to two years for the Carnival of Play being hosted by Annie from PhD in Parenting.

Evan doing baby yoga while holding shovel 12 months

12 to 15 Months:
Your baby is developing a sense of humor and he loves having an audience to preform for, not for the performance but for the applause. Give him lots of applause. Baby knows what he likes and doesn't like and is able to express that to you. He also now understands when you scold him. He may scream when he is frustrated, which often will be when you are doing something for him that he wants to do himself. Yes, at this stage baby is starting to show some independence. Baby still loves to be with you and copy everything you do. This is how he learns. Give him small versions of your tools. A mini-broom, a play hammer, a cloth so he can help dust.
He loves to chatter to himself and listen to the words, so keep talking to baby about everything.
  • Movement - Baby likes to roll around and try to do somersaults. Show baby how to do this. She is learning to stoop down and pick up toys. She is standing, sitting and climbing. Continue to play lots of bouncing games with her.
Obstacle Course - Set up an obstacle course for baby to climb, crawl and walk through. Show him how to get through the course a couple of times. After he has figured out how to get through have a race with him and let him win of course. Make it a big deal that baby won!

Toe Touches - Baby will copy you as you play this game. You can sing Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes. I like to sing it slowly then gradually go faster. He thinks it's funny when we try to keep up with how fast we are singing. Baby loves when mom or dad acts silly too. :)
  • Water Play - Provide lots of different tub toys. They don't need to be made specifically for the tub. Funnels, measuring cups, spoons and straws all make great tub toys.
Bubbles - (Great indoor or outdoor fun) Blow bubbles with the baby and talk about the sizes of them. She will be surprised what happens when she touches one.

Parts of the Body - Now is a great time to start teaching baby the pars of the body. Let baby help you wash up and say "wash your ears" and "now let's wash your toes". You'll be surprised how fast baby learns this. Even if she can't say the words she will start to point them out to you.
You can continue this game when dressing too. Say things like "let's put your socks on your feet".

Straws - Show baby how to blow bubbles in water with a straw. She may be ready to learn to drink from a straw as well. Learning to use a straw is important in speech development so give your baby plenty of opportunities to practice this skill.
  • Music and Instruments - Baby loves to bounce around to rhymes and music. So keep dancing, singing and him play with is instruments.
  • Outdoor Play - Continue to take baby outdoors at least once a day weather permitting. As summer is approaching here, I usually take my kids out in the morning to play for awhile. Then back inside for lunch, nap and craft time. Then we go back out late afternoon and often stay out until bath time. It's important to limit the outdoor play when the sun is at its hottest, especially when it is very hot out. Always make sure to use a sunscreen too.
Sand and Water - Now is a great time to introduce a sand and water table. Again you don't have to buy an expensive sand and water table. A couple of dish pans bought at the dollar store will work great. Let baby practice pouring and filling. This will help him learn about quantity and how to measure. Also provide some toys that float and some that sink. This will teach him about buoyancy. If you have a sandbox in your yard you can use this. Provide a pail and shovel and sieves. Show baby how to make a sandcastle.

Swimming - Take your baby swimming either at the beach or a pool. A small inflatable wadding pool for your yard will be a great addition. Provide some spray bottles, squirt bottles (washed, rinsed out window cleaner bottle and dish soap bottles work great), floating balls, plastic containers (punch holes in the bottom to make a sprinkler). Never leave baby unattended in or around the wading pool.

15 to 24 Months:

Your baby is now a toddler and his energy is boundless! He doesn't want interference from you on some activities but he still wants you there for encouragement and support.
  • Movement - You toddler loves to move! Provide lots of opportunities to run and play. Help improve balance and coordination by holding her hand as she walks along low curbs. Here are some games that will help channel your toddlers endless energy.
Action Songs -
  1. Ring Around the Rosie
  2. London Bridge
  3. Hokey Pokey
  4. Looby Loo
  5. Let's Clap Our Hands Together
Follow the Leader - Have your toddler mimic you as you walk. March, tiptoe, clap your hands - Be silly! Then let your toddler be the leader.
  • Water Play - Water play continues to be a lot of fun for your growing toddler.
Catch the Bubble - Let your toddler try this with wet and dry hands. See what happens.

Stomp the Bubble - (NOT a bathtub game) Get him to stomp on the bubbles as they land rather than watching them break naturally. This is great for developing coordination.

Clap the Bubble - Play some music and have him clap the bubbles to the beat.

Warm/Hot/Cold - Fill one container with cold water, another with warm water, and another with (comfortably) hot water. Talk with him about the difference in temperature and the dangers of hot water. Blindfold him and as him to guess which one is which.

Washing Dishes - Pull a chair up to the counter and let him help you wash unbreakable dishes. Have towels and a mop handy, this is messy but FUN. As he gets older he will ask to let him "do dishes". Enjoy this while it lasts - by the time he's a teenager this has lost all appeal.
  • Art - Art is becoming an important activity for your toddler. He loves creating and making messes.
Paint - Now is the time to introduce paints to your toddler. Start this like you did with the jello painting. Let baby feel the paint and smear it all over the paper. You can show baby how to use different parts to create effects. Like using his knuckle or finger tips to paint. Foot painting is fun too. It is slippery so be sure to hold his hands.

Stringing Beads - This is great for eye-hand coordination. You can use different sized macaroni and you can dye the macaroni too. You and your toddler can make necklaces for each other. He will be so proud to see you wearing his creation.

Goop - This can come in the form of play dough or you can just use some raw bread dough when you are making bread. Show her how to roll the dough out, make snakes, push, poke and squeeze the dough.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this series. I believe play is an extremely important part of a babies brain development. Playing with mom and dad provides much more stimulation for brain development than toys or TV ever could. Play, talk and sing to your baby as much as you can. Not only will he be smarter for it, but you'll have a great bond with your child and memories to last forever. Childhood is so short, enjoy every minute of it.

For more information on experienced based brain development in the early years, you can read some of Dr. Fraser Mustard's report on The Early Years here, here and watch him speak here. Dr. Fraser Mustard is one of the world's leading experts on early childhood development.

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Play With Me (Part 2)

>> Thursday, April 16, 2009

This is part 2 of my posts about play from birth to 2 years for the Carnival of Play being hosted by Annie from PhD in Parenting. Today I want to talk about play from 6 - 12 months. Your baby is becoming his own person now and will start to show you a preferrance to some games. Follow baby's lead because after all this is supposed to be fun and learning for him!

Evan playing in the leaves - 6 months
6 to 9 Months:
Your baby is probably rolling over both ways by now. That is just the start of the mobility now is when your baby will start to creep, crawl and maybe even try to pull themselves to a standing position. Your baby is becoming more and more physically active and curious. If you haven't baby proofed you must do so now. Get down to their level and see what trouble you can spy. Remember they will try to climb on everything and everything will go in their mouth. How can we help baby channel all this extra energy and movement constructively?
  • Movement - Here are some games you can play with baby that will help her master moving her body.
Hide'n'Seek - This is just a set up from peek-a-boo. Partially hide yourself from baby and let baby find you. Don't hide yourself completely yet baby still needs to see you to know you are there. Call his name if necessary. You can play this game with toys too. Just make sure you don't hide the toys too well.

Mt. Couch Cushion - Take all the cushions off the couch and chairs and make a mountain. Let baby climb. You can make stairs with them and practice stair climbing. Hide baby behind some cushions and play peek-a-boo.

Spin the Baby - Lay your baby on her back on a smooth floor and sit beside her. Gently raise her legs a couple inches off the ground and hold her ankles together. Using her legs as a handle gently pivot her body around.
  • Music - baby is getting coordinated enough now to bang on drums or shake a rattle. Now is the time to start providing things for musical instruments.
Drums, Shakers and Rhythm Sticks - you don't have to go buy these things. You have lots of choices for drums in your kitchen. You can make shakers and Rhythm sticks from things you may normally put in the recycling- like empty yogurt containers, empty paper towel rolls. Get creative. You can make this an art project too.

Songs and Dance - Keep dancing with baby. Once baby can stand up he will probably start to "dance" with you. Sing to baby. He is going to be making sounds like ba ba and da da. My Evan loves when I sing Barbara Ann, he tries to sing along now when he hears the chorus.
  • Outdoors - Baby should be going outdoors for at least 15 minutes a day weather permitting. This is good to do even before Baby is mobile. Pack the baby up in the sling or a stroller and get some fresh air into both of you.
Ball - Get all sorts of different sized balls. Practice rolling and throwing them gently back and forth. You'll be surprised how quickly baby catches on to this and how much fun they have playing this game.

Keep playing the games baby enjoys from 0-6months too. Your baby loves to play with you!

9 to 12 Months:
Baby is crawling, cruising and maybe even walking. Evan started walking at 9.5 months. That's when things really get busy. They are trying to climb everything and you really have to keep a constant eye on them even not during play times. By offering some of these activities during play you'll give baby the chance to master skills and wear off some of his energy.
  • Movement- Baby is continuing to gain more mobility. Keep playing lots of games with bouncing, knee rides, chasing ect. Baby is getting old enough now for some gentle rough housing. Light pushing and rolling around, letting baby crawl over you and tickle fests are all fun.
Yoga - This is a great time to introduce baby yoga. You can by DVDs or books. If you already know a bunch of yoga poses you can just do them with your baby. You'll notice your baby will do some poses naturally and when you join in they find that really funny.

Boxes - If you haven't figured it out by now babies love boxes. They love to play in them and toss toys in and out of them. Take an empty diaper box cut a small hole in it and show him how to hide the toys in it. You can even take a short rope, thread it through a small hole, knot at both end and he can drag it behind him as he crawls. Evan loves when I pull him around in the box too.

Tug of war - This is a fun indoor or outdoor game. Use a scarf or a small piece of cloth. Play tug of war with baby. When he gives a good tug, tumble over and he will laugh and laugh.
  • Art - This is a great time to introduce creative art play if you haven't already. His hands and fingers are getting more flexible and he's able to do co-ordinated movements - opening and closing doors, dropping and picking up things.
Scribbling - A big fat crayon and a peice of paper are all you need. I find that taping the paper to the high chair tray helps a lot. Otherwise the paper ends up on the floor and he scribbles all over the tray or the paper ends up scrunched and baby ends up mad.

Jello Art - This is fun when you know or are prepared to give baby a bath afterwards. Make 2 or 3 bowls of different coloured Jello. Set peices of paper in front of baby and put a glob of jello on each. Encourage baby to spread and swirl. This is way better than finger paints because you won't cringe when he licks his hands - which he will do.

I hope you are enjoying this series on play. Tomorrow look for part 3 in my series. There are more articles for all sorts of play linked on Annie's Carnival of Play. Spring is here, get out there and play with your kids!

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Play With Me (Part 1)

Annie from PhD in Parenting is hosting a Carnival of Play theme on her blog this month. It's taken me half the month to get motivated to participate. Mostly because I wasn't sure I would have anything new or of value to contribute. Then I looked at myself. I'm by no means a perfect mom but I do LOVE to play with my kids. Even when they are newborns I play with them. Now I'm not talking run around, rough house sort of play so don't get worried. :) But you definitely can play with your newborns. Each month as they grow and change so can your play. So I thought I would try to write some articles on how you can play with your babies from birth to 2 years. It seems to get easier (the kids will come up with ideas for play) after that, especially if you have been playing with them all along.

Me playing with Evan 1 month old

First of all let's talk about some rules for play. These rules are for you mom and dad :).
  1. Partners: Never EVER criticize your partners ability to play with your child. Moms and Dads play very different from one another. That's a good thing because a child needs different types of play. Remember your way isn't always the "right" way. Never tease or make fun of your partner during play. It doesn't matter if they sing in tune or if they have rhythm when dancing. What matters is that they are playing. If you are not participating in the play, keep quiet!
  2. Be Safe: Never rough house with tiny babies. Make sure you have baby proofed the room you are going to play in. Never allow play with anything potentially harmful (scissors, markers, glue, paints, ect) without adult supervision. Put up baby gates where necessary. Move furniture so you have room to play. Put up breakables.
  3. Listen to your child: Just because you are in the mood to dance and shimmy doesn't mean your child will be. Watch their cues. The best times to play with your new baby are when he is quiet, calm and awake. When baby is tired of playing he will turn his head or look away from you. If baby is really tired he or she will cry. If they don't seem interested or are unhappy change the type of play or wait and try again later. Be willing to adapt to whatever situation arises and don't get frustrated. Remember play is supposed to be fun!
Now that we have covered the rules let's get to the fun stuff - PLAY! Today I will talk about play from birth to 6 months. You'll notice I do a lot of talking to my baby when we play. To me talking to your baby is just as important as play. Your baby won't learn to speak unless he hears his language spoken. So talk to your baby all the time! For more about language and the young child you can read here.

Birth to 3 months:
So you've brought your new baby home. Now what? You are busy learning how to diaper, breastfeed, bath and all those other fun daily things. Remember baby doesn't care if you are doing it right. Baby doesn't even know if you are doing it "right", the same applies to play. Play is how your baby learns. It helps him develop the skills he needs to grow and learn. When you spend time playing with your baby, you're showing him that you love him and that he's important to you. This early time is so easy when it comes to play. There are no expectations, and while at first baby may just look at you that's ok. Smiles and coos will soon be on their way.
  • Movement- For nine months your baby has experienced movement. Your baby has moved on his own and he's felt your movements - the rocking and swaying as you walked and bent down. These movements are comforting to baby. So how can you incorporate this into play?
Dancing - Find some simple happy song on the radio or stereo and gently rock and sway to the music while holding your baby in your arms. Watch for baby's cues. She may be in the mood for something quiet and soothing or something upbeat and quick may be to more of her liking. This can also be helpful when baby is fussy.

The Elevator Game - As soon as your baby can hold her head steady you can play this game. Lie on your back and gently lift your baby over you. Slowly bring her down and say things like " I'm going to kiss you" or "up up and away, back down to mommy".

Bicycle Game - Holding your baby's calves just below the knee, gently flex one leg so his knee touches his tummy. Say things like "Let's go for a bike ride".

Touch the Sky - Gently take your baby's hands in your own and raise his arms above his head. Say something like "Reach to the sky and back down to your sides".

Big Hugs - Gently cross your babies arms over her chest and then gently stretch them back out. I say "Big hugs for baby".

Pull-ups - Wait until your baby can hold his head up before playing this game. Lay baby on his back, hold his hands, and slowly pull up until baby is sitting. Say things like "Up we go!" or "Time to get up!".

Rocking Chair - Some babies love to be held and rocked. Some babies like slow rocking and other babies like a faster tempo. Whatever makes your baby happy is OK! Use this time to sing lullabies or nursery rhymes to your baby. Or just nurse your baby and look at her. One day she will meet your gaze and your heart will just melt.
  • Changing/Dressing Games - Caress, softly tickle, or kiss your baby every time you change him or her. Touching, caressing, cuddling will all help develop a bond with your baby faster than anything else. Touch is also an important ingredient for breastfeeding moms. Touching and handling your baby will aid in the secretion of prolactin - the "Mothering hormone", which will also assist in your milk production and your ability to relax. So go ahead hold and caress your baby - you are not going to spoil her I promise!
Baby Massage - This is great especially after bath time. Before bed and that last (well, you hope) nursing session before baby goes to sleep. Baby massage is not only good for bonding but it also encourages muscular co-ordination and suppleness, which helps to prepare the baby for co-ordinated physical skills to come.

Peek-a-boo - Play this anytime you are dressing or undressing baby. After bath time take the towel and say "where's the baby?".

Parts of the body - "I'm going to touch your nose", "I'm going to kiss your cheeks" Bend your face down so baby can see you, smile and touch your baby. You can play This Little Piggy Went To Market when you put baby's socks on and off.
  • Visual Games -
Tummy Time - All babies should be put to sleep on their backs. So for at least 10 minutes a day during an awake/content time you should put your baby on her tummy for "tummy time". She may not like this at first. Especially since she won't be able to see much. But she needs to get those neck muscles strong and you can help her! You do not need to run out an buy a special mat for this, a blanket and your face are all you need. Get down on the floor with your baby and lie in front of her. Make silly faces at her. Stick your tongue out and see if she will copy you. Use a colorful toy and raise it above her head to try and get her to look up. Put the toy on the floor and move it side to side. She will try to follow it. Keep talking to her to let her know you are there.

Evan tummy time in front of mirror 2 months old

Mirrors - Your baby will love to see the baby in the mirror. The more he watches that baby he'll soon realize when he moves so does that baby in the mirror. One day he'll figure out that he is that baby in the mirror.

Keep Your Baby With You - Wherever your are in the house take your baby with you. Put your baby in an infant seat and let him watch you cook. Talk to him about what you are making for lunch. Let your baby watch you fold laundry (this is also another great time for peek-a-boo). Talk to him about whose clothes you are folding. Your baby will love watching and listening to you.

3 to 6 Months:
By now you and your baby are more "settled". You are a more confident parent and baby is starting to show you with smiles and coos just how fond he is of you and your playtime together. Baby is growing and changing so we can add some new games to our playtime.
  • Movement - By this time baby should be trying to gain a sense of control over his movements. He will be trying to move with a purpose - trying to reach a toy, learning to roll over from tummy to back and back to tummy. If you haven't rearranged your furniture before, now is a good time to make sure baby has enough room to move and play with you and on his own.
Rug Rat - Place your baby on a variety of surfaces (carpet, warm bathroom, kitchen floor, soft clean grass) and let him explore. Get down there with him and try to entice him to move with toys. Hold one just out of reach and say "come get your toy baby!" When he tries to reach for it, give it to him and praise him.

Airplane - Lie on the floor on your back, feet flat and knees up. Holding baby under his arms, facing you, fly baby up over your head and back down to your knees. If baby really likes this game you can add wiggles and lifts. Say things like "To the moon" or "we have lift off!".

Rolie-Polie - On the floor or a bed very gently roll your baby back and forth. I like to sing "Rollin, rollin, rollin...keep those babies rollin" when we play this game.

Knee Rides - I think everyone knows how to play this game. Make the game fast or slow - surprise baby! Pop! Goes the Weasel is a fun song to sing when playing this game.
  • Water Play - Your baby will love to splash and play and he'll be learning about his body.
Big Tub - Take your baby in the big tub with you. For me this was a great thing for dad to do. I was able to get a much needed break and dad was able to get some bonding/play time in with the baby. The first couple times I stayed with them because dad wasn't sure how the baby would like it, after that I would just come get the baby when they were done playing.

Sponges - get a bunch of sponges and cut them into shapes. When baby has his bath take the sponges and show him how to squeeze them. Talk about the colors and shapes of the sponges.

Songs and Rhymes - Bath time is a great time for songs and rhymes. Sing Splish Splash or Rub-a-Dub-Dub. Have fun with this - go ahead and splash around the tub with the baby. It's only water!

Don't forget about the games from birth to 3 months, baby will still enjoy many of the games and will soon start to join you in many - such as dancing!

Tomorrow I will talk about play from 6 to 12 months. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions please leave me a comment. Now get out there and play with your little ones! Have FUN!

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Treasure the Moments

>> Thursday, April 9, 2009

Madeline Alice Spohr
November 11, 2007 - April 7, 2009

Tuesday night little 17 month old Maddie left her mom and dad to join the angels in Heaven. I didn't know this little girl. I didn't even know her mom other than by reading her blog, but I couldn't help but feel immense sadness for their family. I look at my children and I can't even begin to imagine the pain.

As their tragic loss has been on my mind the last 2 days, I have been trying to take more time and just sit and play with my kids. Talking to them, giving them little extra hugs. It's sad that it takes something like this to make me realize that the cleaning will wait, it doesn't matter if the laundry isn't put away. What really matters is enjoying the time we have with our children. They grow up so fast. Childhood is over in a minute. Relish every moment you can.

Donations can be made to March of Dimes or to her parents to help with expenses. Information to send cards or packages and for services for Maddie can be found here.

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Wordless Wednesday - Sleeping Baby

>> Wednesday, April 8, 2009

For more Wordless Wednesday go here.

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Rainy Day Cupcakes

>> Tuesday, April 7, 2009

These are the cupcakes I baked today. I called them Rainy Day Cupcakes because today is a rainy, dreary day and these cupcakes looks so cheerful (to me anyhow).

I had a mix in the cupboard for confetti cake I guess it was, so I decided to just use that for these. Made up a typical butter cream frosting, tinted with Wilton gels. It was a lot of fun piping these and I can't wait to play more with my new tip set. *Thanks mom!*

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