This week is World Breastfeeding Week in Canada. I thought in order to have a little celebration on my blog for it, I would give you a list of a few books that I think are great resources for breastfeeding. I will include books that are great for the new mom to read while pregnant and to reference with questions after the new baby arrives. I'm also going to include some books that would be nice to read to siblings before the new baby comes, especially if they have never seen mom nurse a baby before.
Breastfeeding Books for Mom (and dad too!):
First up is Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding. I feel this book should be required reading for all pregnant women. Not only does he give fantastic breastfeeding advice, but he also covers the dangers of formula feeding. He gives you the facts about formula so at least if you decided you don't want to breastfeed you will be making an informed decision. When it comes to breastfeeding he takes you through just about any problem that you might encounter and helps you through it. When I read this book while I was still pregnant with my youngest, for the first time I felt I could actually breastfeed and succeed at it. I've been breastfeeding him for 18 months now, and I definitely credit this book.
Dr. Newman also has a website that you can reference for great advice even if you don't own the book. He has videos on the website that can really help if you are struggling with a proper latch as well.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding from La Leche League International was the first book I ever read regarding breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with my first child my mom gave me her copy to read. A lot has changed in the book from then until now (like no longer are they telling you to toughen up your nipples with a towel) but a lot is just the same as it was then. From this book I learned the most important advice any new mom can learn - rest, breastfeed and rest. Don't try to do it all. This is really important in those early days as doing too much can really have effect on your supply. I feel this is also a great book for dad's to read. They will learn a lot about what they can do to participate in the breastfeeding relationship and they will also learn how to be a good support to his wife when she is breastfeeding and things he can do to make it a little easier on mom.
Breastfeeding Made Simple was recommend to me by my public health nurse, who came to visit and help me often. Those first few weeks after I had my youngest were so hard. It seemed like if there was a problem we were going to go through it. On one of her visits she suggested I read this book because it really explained the reasons some things happened. Once I understood why some things were happening I was able to fix them or if it was a good thing I knew to keep doing what I was doing. It was a great book and it really helped to have a simple resource on hand when my hands were full of baby. Breastfeeding Made Simple also has a website you can check out to see if you would be interested in purchasing the book and you can find some great information right on the site if you need help today.
Books About Breastfeeding for Children:
This book is written from the perspective of a nursing toddler. It's a nice sized board book with 24 pages. It's not a very pretty book but it's a great book for the young one that isn't ready for paper pages yet. I think it's a nice book if you are having a baby and you have a toddler that has never seen you breastfeed before.
This is a really sweet book that shows a mom nursing her baby in bed, in a park and it also shows baby wearing. It also shows animals nursing their babies. Just a nice book to show how natural nursing is for everyone!
So those are my books that I think are good to have at home if you are going to be nursing a baby now or in the future. What books do you think are helpful to other mom's that are going to breastfeed?
My List of Breastfeeding Books for World Breastfeeding Week
Today I engaged in an online conversation about WIC and it's role on breastfeeding success. The person has a notion that WIC should charge a dollar a can for formula. I don't really agree with that idea. Now, just so you know I don't think that the idea for free formula is great because it makes it an easy choice, but I can also see another side of it.
When my second child was born I breastfed for 6 months. At 5 months the doctors became concerned with his weight gain, or lack thereof. The doctor said she would give it a month, I went back every week or two (it's been 13yrs so hard to remember exact details) by then end of the month he was diagnosed as failure to thrive (I do remember he was only wearing 0-3 month clothing at this time) and I was instructed to put him on formula. (Now I know there are many flaws to this, but I didn't know as much about breastfeeding as I do now so just go with me on this...) So I proceeded to follow the doctor's instructions, because after all she is a doctor and she would only have my child's health in mind. Around this same time my husband at the time lost his job. I was not working, and we ended up on welfare & WIC. There was no extra income at all, nothing. We lived entirely on what the government gave us and it wasn't much. So dealing with the fact that I had once again failed at breastfeeding a child then imagining going into a WIC office and them telling me I needed to find 30+ dollars (infants easily go through 1 can of concentrate liquid formula a day) so I could buy my child's formula for that month - that I was told by a doctor I had to give my child, when I had no money would have been alarming & anxiety causing to say the least.
How would charging me a dollar a can for that formula have benefited me at all? It wouldn't have! I don't think WIC charging a dollar a can for formula is going to change anything, that isn't how change is going to happen. I often think if one could only get formula with a prescription then there would be less people quitting breastfeeding so quickly and that would be changing things. But really that's not even where the heart of change would start. I think either of those options that would be like trying to put a band-aid on a finger that is half cut off.
In my opinion change has to start in the medical community and from there we will see a trickle down effect. Our doctors need to be trained in medical school about breastfeeding; how to give proper support and how to effectively give help when a real breastfeeding problem arises. They need to be trained on the risks of formula and how formula needs to be a last resort not a just as good as breastfeeding replacement. At that point having formula be by prescription could be a do-able option, because the doctor would really be trying to make the breastfeeding relationship succeed. And for those mothers that really do not want to breastfeed what would be so wrong about the doctor making sure she is educated about breastfeeding and the risks of formula and then letting her make a choice. At that point the Doctor could write the script for her, knowing she has made an educated decision.
As someone who has been on WIC I know there are things that could be done to increase the success rates of breastfeeding. Formula is handed out too easily there, I agree with that 100%. The example I gave above was not my only experience with WIC. I know first hand that they say "breastfeeding is best", "you should breastfeed for X amount of time" but at the first whimper of a "problem" they make no qualms about printing up your formula coupons.
So what do I think WIC could do to actually help breastfeeding mothers succeed? Well, first of all they could educate moms. I don't mean offering a 20 minute video on the benefits of breastfeeding. But instead having a real class, talking about all the normal problems that most new mothers face and what you can do when you think you have a problem..
They could ask questions. When mom comes in and says I need 1/2 formula for the month, instead of just printing those coupons up they could ask "Why do you feel you need to supplement?". Mom might say "well I want to be able to have a few drinks on the weekends", or "I think the baby will sleep better if I give him formula at night". They could educate the mother that she doesn't have to supplement to have a drink or two. They could educate her that giving the baby formula at night will effect her overall supply and may risk the entire breastfeeding relationship. Maybe then that mom may decide she really doesn't need that formula after all.
What about that mom that only had 6wks maternity leave and the breastfeeding relationship is just getting established and she has to go back to work? She comes in to get formula to supplement. Why not educate her that she can exclusively breastfeed and work. And then offer to loan her a pump and the supplies she would need for that. (Apparently some do offer this service they just don't advertise it).
They could have a Board Certified Lactation Consultant on staff or offer a free referral to one when mom really is struggling with breastfeeding.
Those are things I feel would actually be beneficial in increasing breastfeeding success rates. I don't think charging parents who are already low income or poverty level for formula is going to change anything positively. How to make these changes happen? I wish I knew. I would love to see more people succeed in breastfeeding their children and I would love to see the medical community & WIC be a part of that success.
*disclaimer - this post is going to be about public breastfeeding. If you don't like public breastfeeding or you don't want to read about it, then stop here.*
Breastfeeding in public. It sure is debatable isn't it? I guess when you get down to it nearly everything about breastfeeding is open for debate. Where you feed your baby, how often you feed him, how long you are going to breastfeed, the list goes on. It really surprises, hmm no that's not even the word. Nothing regarding breastfeeding surprises me any more.
Let's talk history. Do you realize humanity wouldn't have even survived as long as it has, if it weren't for breastfeeding? For ages if a mother died during childbirth a wet nurse was brought in to feed the baby. Oh the horror! Someone else coming in and breastfeeding a child that wasn't their own! Can't imagine anyone doing that these days? Ahh someone did. You can read Baby Moses' story here. It's 6 months later and he is still being cross-nursed. His dad sure knows the importance of breastfeeding.
Did you know the bottle wasn't even invented until the late 1800's? Did you know that "formula" was only invented to be used in extreme cases - when a wet-nurse couldn't be found. It was never intended to be used the way it is being used today. But someone saw the opportunity to make a buck and now formula is being toted as a great alternative to breastfeeding your child.
Nothing is as good as breastmilk - don't be fooled.
So what is my point you ask? My point is, not always has breastfeeding been such a thing that you need to go do that in private. It's not everywhere that women are told "use a little modesty" or "cover that up". Breastfeeding is normal!! Yesterday on twitter I offended someone by being the lactivist that I am. I don't mean to offend. I also know that you can't "hear" me talk. You don't know the tone I am using, all you can do is read and guess. Tone says a lot.
Yesterday I was pretty mild - I wasn't even riled up. ;) Others were yes, and you know what, I feel they have every right to be. The offending message wasn't just about having some modesty while you are breastfeeding in public. Yes, I completely get that these comments were not directed right at me personally. But I do breastfeed in public and who's to say that next time they won't be directed at me. What's even more offensive is the fact that the guy said he wouldn't care if she was breastfeeding in public if she was "hot". Oh yeah, that makes all the difference in the world (sarcasm here folks).
What's offensive to me is that people see breasts everywhere. You see them on magazine covers, in magazine ads, on music covers, on TV commercials (breasts barely covered by an arm). You see more breast in some low cut tops, and in bikini tops that you ever would when someone is breastfeeding their child. But the minute someone sees a baby at the breast, eating, it's all "have some class", "use a cover", "be a little modest".
I take great offense at being called "fat, ugly hippies" just because I am breastfeeding my child wherever he is hungry. What I look like has absolutely nothing to do with feeding my child.
I take offense at someone saying to a breastfeeding mom "go do that in private" or "go do that in back". As if that is something rude. Breastfeeding is not rude...it's food! People eat in public all the time. As a person that has issues with watching/hearing people eat I would love to tell some people to go do that in private. Can you imagine the backlash?! But somehow because a baby is breastfeeding (eating when he is hungry) it is ok for anyone to tell that mom to go do that in private?? I don't think so! Why shouldn't a breastfeeding mother be allowed to enjoy the same activity that everyone else is? Be it watching a baseball game, enjoying a meal out with her family, going to the movies, worshiping in church? In all of those activities there should be enough going on that you don't have to sit and stare at her feeding her child. You can um I don't know actually watch the baseball game or movie. You could enjoy a conversation with the person you are having dinner with, oh or you could actually pay attention to what the Pastor has to say this Sunday. You don't have to stare at her - look away. How hard is that? Why should a breastfeeding mother have to cover up or go do that in private when it is you that has the problem not looking?? (I'm using the word you in a general term here).
The majority of breastfeeding moms are decent/modest. We don't all sit down and wait til everyone is watching and then "whip them out". Most of us, even if we don't use a cover (and I get some people are more comfortable using one. That's fine!) are only pulling up our shirts just enough to get the baby latched on and trying to keep that breast from being fully exposed when we are in public. I know for me personally trying to use a cover is like a circus act. E can't stand them and he never could. Even as a tiny baby he would try to wiggle out of them. (Who can blame him really? Ever tried eating with a blanket over your head?) I would be trying to keep the cover covering, holding my shirt down because he's going to pop off, and holding my breast so he can get a proper latch. I'm sure you can see the issue here - I do not have enough hands. The problem is that even though many of us are being modest, that isn't enough. People want us to cover up with a blanket or go into a "special" nursing room or even the bathroom. When all we are doing is feeding our babies, nothing more. We aren't shoving our breasts in your face.
Babies give off a lot of clues they are hungry - the biggest being crying. So you hear the cries, you see a mom pick up her baby and start fumbling with her shirt. You know exactly what is going to happen. ( I promise she doesn't have a bottle warming up in her bra.) So if you are going to be offended by the mere fact she is going to feed her child - then look away! Don't continue to stare and then give her dirty looks, make rude comments, suggest she cover up or go elsewhere. She isn't the one with the problem. Obviously if she would be more comfortable using a cover she would be using it. If she would be more comfortable breastfeeding in private she would have picked up the baby and went looking for a nursing room. She's comfortable, if you aren't - don't look.
I honestly don't mean to offend people with my lactivism. I am just very passionate about breastfeeding of all babies, everywhere and anywhere.
This morning on Twitter @realbabymilk posted a link to an article written by Dr. Jack Newman regarding breastfeeding & guilt. It is one of the best articles I have ever read about the topic. It got me thinking about my own breastfeeding challenges and my lack of guilt over having to use a bottle & formula.
I've breastfed all of my children. I haven't breastfed them all successfully though. Please don't take what I am about to say as I think formula is just as good as breastmilk. I don't and I never have. Breast is best and yes, breastfeeding is normal.
My oldest child was only breastfed for about 3 months. During the first week or so following his birth, the Dr. told me that he wasn't getting enough milk and I needed to supplement some feedings with formula. Did the Doctor ever check to see if I was latching the baby on properly? No. Did he ever ask how many times I was feeding and how long the baby was feeding? No. Just by weight gain (which I'm fairly certain was based on a formula company's chart) he told me that I needed to supplement. He sent me off with a few bottles of formula and that was that. Did I feel guilty about giving my baby formula? No. Did I stop breastfeeding? No. Luckily my mom had told me just keep breastfeeding and to do it more often. He was a small baby and I was waiting 3-4 hours to feed. I had taken a prenatal class on the military base and this is what I was told to do. My mom told me that breastfeed babies need to be fed more often than that and especially since he was so small. I think I only supplemented for 1 or 2 days and then just went back to full time nursing. The baby never again had a problem with weight gain.
Then about 2 months later I needed to go on antibiotics and was told that I would have to stop breastfeeding. So I did what the doctor told me to do. I never felt guilty. I did what I had to do, what the doctor told me was right. Now in defense of the doctor that time - she did try several other antibiotics and they weren't working. So it was a last resort. Could I still have kept on nursing? I don't know. If I was told that now, I have a better resource to check with before just agreeing with the first person that tells me I need to stop breastfeeding. I still don't feel guilt over stopping. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.
My second child was breastfed for nearly 6 months before being diagnosed as "failure to thrive". At which point, I was told I had to stop breastfeeding and give the baby formula. The doctor at the time initially had me come in several times for weight checks, but never once referred me to a lactation consultant to make sure we were breastfeeding properly. She never once asked me how often the baby feeding or how many wet diapers. I'm fairly certain that once again they were using a weight chart provided by a formula company. But the doctor told me my baby wasn't thriving on my breastmilk. Why would I doubt what she knows? She went to medical school. I stopped breastfeeding, gave my baby formula and he gained weight. By the second week on formula it was like looking at a different child. I never felt guilty for stopping breastfeeding. I did what I had to do for my child with the knowledge I had at the time. I know more now, and I would fight harder now if a doctor suggested I stop breastfeeding, but I don't feel guilty now for what happened then.
I listen to women talk about feeling guilty for not being able to breastfeed for one reason or another, and I wonder why I don't feel that guilt. Do I think it's sad I was possibly robbed out of breastfeeding my children for longer? Sure I do! But I did what I thought was best at that time with the knowledge that I had. It isn't my fault that these doctors didn't know more about breastfeeding and the logistics of it, so why should I feel guilty for trusting them? We are brought up and taught that they can and should be trusted. I don't think that the majority of doctors are setting out to intentionally sabotage the breastfeeding relationship, they just aren't informed enough. Add into that equation that the formula companies have their own agenda and are arming them with the ideas that it really doesn't matter what the baby gets as long as the baby eats. I don't believe that any of this should cause you guilt though, sadness sure but guilt - let it go, it isn't your fault.
I listen to some women talk about how they were made to feel guilty because they couldn't breastfeed or they chose not to breastfeed. I have never ran into a situation where someone has made me feel guilty for stopping breastfeeding. I am very much pro-breastfeeding. I hear the stories of mom's who say "I was sent home 24 hours after I had my baby, and the next day the baby would just cry if he wasn't nursing. So I didn't have enough milk and had to give my baby formula." Sometimes I might say, "oh you probably would have had enough milk, but the baby was trying to get your milk in and to the level he needed". I don't say that to make you feel guilty though. You may have another child and I want you to understand what is happening so if you attempt to breastfeed again you have knowledge on your side. I honestly feel that if you run into people that "make you feel guilty" it isn't intentional. Sure there maybe the few that are judgmental, but I think most breastfeeding moms realize it isn't this a romantic, easy process that just happens. It takes a lot of work and a lot of knowledge and most importantly good support.
If you chose not to breastfeed and you researched the risks of formula feeding, and not just by reading a few leaflets sent out by formula companies; then why should you feel guilt for making a good, informed decision? If you are feeling guilty then it's only because you are second guessing your choices. That is not anyone else's fault though, so please don't say some pro-breastfeeding mother is making you feel guilty. As a parent you can not constantly second guess your choices, that isn't good parenting either. And most importantly don't try to undermine someone's breastfeeding relationship just because you chose not to breastfeed. That was yourchoice and you want to be respected for that. Please have the same respect for a mother that chooses to breastfeed. Don't tell her "if you just give him a bottle he'll sleep longer" or "if you just give him a bottle you can have more freedom". She made a choice, respect and support that choice.
So how can we move past this guilt? I think we have to understand that as individual parents we are all trying to do the best we can for our children. We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at any given time. The only thing we can do is strive to learn more and do better. Guilt isn't going to do you or your children any good. It's like living in the past. Let the guilt go it'll keep you from enjoying the moments of the present.
Have a thought you'd like to share about breastfeeding and guilt? Please leave a comment, I'm interested in hearing what you have to say.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding from La Leche League International was the first book I ever read regarding breastfeeding. When I was pregnant with my first child my mom gave me her copy to read. A lot has changed in the book from then until now (like no longer are they telling you to toughen up your nipples with a towel) but a lot is just the same as it was then. From this book I learned the most important advice any new mom can learn - rest, breastfeed and rest. Don't try to do it all. This is really important in those early days as doing too much can really have effect on your supply. I feel this is also a great book for dad's to read. They will learn a lot about what they can do to participate in the breastfeeding relationship and they will also learn how to be a good support to his wife when she is breastfeeding and things he can do to make it a little easier on mom.
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