Love Dare - Day Seven

Day Seven: Love believes the best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things.
—1 Corinthians 13:7

Yesterday's Dare
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

This dare wasn't very difficult for me. My list of positives definitely outweighed  the negatives. I'm sure some of that was given that we have had a really nice last 7 days (at least I think so). So not much time was spent in my mental depreciation room this week.  I think when I do go there when I'm angry or hurt, it's a lot of nit picky things.  Not all of it, but some of it is for sure.  Over all I think I do have a really good husband.  I know we are only on day 7 here but I'm realizing that things that are wrong in our marriage are not just him.  Some of it is me, my attitude and how my own actions/reactions can create turmoil.  I know that it takes two, but this dare has really opened my eyes to my part of the problem.  The denial and blame isn't so strong now.  I think that is a good thing.

How did you do on day 7?  Was making the list easy for you or did you struggle with one of the sheets?

Today's Dare: Love is not jealous (I know without even reading this is going to be a hard one for me)

See how my friends who are also taking the challenge are doing:
@Peasinapod - Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom
@FlyingByFaith - Simply Complicated... That's Just Me...
@kjkmom2boys - Mom's Just One of the Boys
@ChainedAngel - Wanna Know What's for Supper???

If you would like to join in the challenge just leave me a comment and a link to your blog and I'll add you to the list. :)  P.S. It's never too late to join!

Love Dare - Day Seven

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Holiday Grand Plan - Week Eight & a Giveaway!

Winner announced at the end of the post!


Photo from jmtimages' photostream on flickr

Last week wasn't a great week.  I didn't get much accomplished on my list chore wise.  I've come to the realization I've not been using my time wisely.  This week I am going to work harder at that.  I'm sure if I can get that under control I would get a lot more accomplished.  I did, however, get the Halloween decorations out and mostly up.  Just have a few more things to put up later today.  The baby was very excited about the decorating and really wanted to help with everything.  It was really cute.  I can only imagine how he's going to react to Christmas decorating.  I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun!

I'm hoping that next Saturday we can head out to get some pictures taken with the pumpkin people and get our pumpkins for Halloween.  Probably should get the rest of the Halloween costumes dealt with as well.  This week I need to plan our All Hallow's Eve dinner, I want to make caramel corn too.

The Holiday Grand Plan site says that this week is kitchen week.  So if you are following along with the web site you'll need to check out the chores for the kitchen there.  I will be doing the FlyLady zone plan for my cleaning and this week for me it is the master bedroom and bub's room.

My goals for the week are:

*Holiday Prep*

1. Make one batch of Holiday Goodies.
2. Make one extra meal for freezer again labeled HOLIDAY MEAL.
3. Buy two canned food items from menus (get 2 of each item, one to use and one to donate to food drive).
4. Buy 1/8th of TO BUY gifts. Save all receipts, note return policy before buying. Ask for gift boxes.
5. Wrap and label packages. If needing to ship, get some shipping boxes now and store packages in them.
6. Work at least 1 hour a day on homemade gifts.

*Checkpoint Week! Evaluate Your Progress:*

1. If unable to find an item for a person on list contact them or their family for ideas.
2. If a homemade gift is not going well, set it aside for after Christmas and decide on another gift.
3. Buy pumpkin for Halloween.
4. Review costume plans with children.

*Chores - FlyLady zone 4, for me that is the master bedroom & Bub's room*

1. Master Bedroom
    - Clean ceiling fan
    - Wash bedding & pillows
    - Vacuum & flip mattress
    - Straighten drawers & closet
    - Dust furniture
    - Sweep & mop

2. Bub's Room
    - Wash walls
    - Clean ceiling fan
    - Wash curtains & blinds
    - Clean windows, windowsills & screens
    - Wash bedding & pillows
    - Vacuum & flip mattress
    - Straighten drawers & closet
    - Straighten bookcase
    - Dust furniture
    - Sweep & mop

 So that is my plan for this week, we'll see how much gets accomplished with my new goal of using my time wisely.  Hopefully I'll have lots of good things to report next week.


Are you doing the Holiday Grand Plan or are you doing another plan to get ready for Christmas?  I believe FlyLady's Christmas plan starts this week if you are wanting to get started now on your holiday preparations. If you're doing a plan already, how are you coming along with your goals?

Oh I almost forgot!  This is my 100th post and well, knowing how I sometimes don't post for awhile, this is pretty exciting for me.  So I thought I would do a little holiday giveaway to celebrate.

 I'm going to offer a set of 4 handmade Christmas cards inside a folder to one of my lucky readers.

You can choose this one or

You can choose this one. :)

To win all you have to do is leave me a comment on this post and next Sunday (October 25) I will pick a winner with the help of random.org.  Go get commenting! :)

The winner of the card set is:   

TopHat said...
Oh right! Christmas is coming and I need to do cards! Thanks for the reminder! Maybe I'll win some and get a head start! :)

Congratulations!  I hope that you enjoy the cards. :)

Holiday Grand Plan - Week Eight & a Giveaway!

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Love Dare - Day Six

Day six: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
—Proverbs 16:32

Yesterday's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

This dare was a bit confusing.  Even with the book I had to read it a few times to really understand the message of it.  I get how being irritable is hard on people, especially in a marriage.  Who really wants to be around someone who is grumpy all the time.  I'm not irritable all the time, but as a woman I definately have times that I am more apt to be irritable. There are times when I am at the end of my rope and I much quicker to snap.

A couple of things from this chapter that gave me something to think about are:

"Ask yourself, Am I a calming breeze or a storm waiting to happen?

Why do people become irritable?  There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it:
Stress.  Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health and causes you to be cranky...It can be brought on by relational causes: arguing, division, and bitterness.  There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying, overspending. And there are deficiencies: not getting enough rest, nutrition or exercise.
Selfishness: ....Lust, for example, is being ungrateful for what you have and choosing to covet or burn with passion for something that is forbidden...Bitterness takes root when you respond in a judgmental way and refuse to work through your anger...Greed for more money and possessions will frustrate you with unfulfilled desires...Pride leads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation.

At first it was hard for me to think about what I could marginalize in my life.  I had to think about times in our life where I am more irritable, quick to be impatient and what is going on when I react that way.

Here is what I have decided that I need to work on to help make me less irritable and more loving in my reactions.

To marginalize my life and reduce stress:
1. I need to work on becoming better at asking  for more help when I need it. I usually just wish for help and then get very short tempered with those around me who are just playing & relaxing while I do all the work.
2. Arrange some "me time" so I can recharge.
3. Make better use of my time - less time spent on the computer so that I can get my work done and have time with the kids and my husband.
4. Work harder at not procrastinating.
5. Go to sleep earlier - 10pm at the latest every night.
6. Maybe try to incooperate some exercise daily
7. Make sure I eat well and take my supplements

Releasing wrong motivations:
I need to work on releasing my pride. While doing this dare I have become painfully aware of how selfish I can be.  Many times I'll become irritable because I am worried about me...when I will get my break, when people will start helping me, and that's just a few examples.

Thinking about yesterday's dare where my husband said "that sometimes when we are having a discussion, I correct him and my tone makes him feel stupid."  I think sometimes I do that because I like to be right.  I like to show just how much I know about  a given subject.  Yes, just because I may know more than he does about some things doesn't make it right for me to make him feel stupid.  That is my pride.

What did you learn from day 6?  Was it hard to admit to any wrong motivations?  How are you going to work at reducing your stress?

Today's Dare: Love believes the best

See how my friends who are also taking the challenge are doing:
@Peasinapod - Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom
@FlyingByFaith - Simply Complicated... That's Just Me...
@kjkmom2boys - Mom's Just One of the Boys
@ChainedAngel - Wanna Know What's for Supper???
@sherylk1515 - We are Never Alone 

If you would like to join in the challenge just leave me a comment and a link to your blog and I'll add you to the list. :)  P.S. It's never too late to join!

P.S.S. If you are enjoying this series on The Love Dare posts please feel free to leave a comment.  Actually leave a comment even if you aren't.  If you aren't enjoying it I really don't want to bore you. :)

Love Dare - Day Six

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Love Dare - Day Five

Day Five: Love is not rude.

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.
—Proverbs 27:14

Yesterday's Dare
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

This dare wasn't all that difficult for me to do. Does that mean that I don't think I'm rude? Of course not, we all have moments of rude behavior. When I was reading the chapter for this dare several things stood out to me.

 "Do you wish your spouse would stop doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them.

Three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1. Guard the Golden Rule: Treat your mate the same way you would want to be treated
2. No Double Standards:  Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and co-workers
3. Honor Requests: Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do."
   

Sometimes I know that I am acting in a rude manner but I justify it by saying he does it too.  That isn't right and that is something I need to work on.  I know when we were dating and when we first got married I would go out of my way not to be rude. I always tried to be pleasant and kind.  Oh how times have changed. 

I ended up waiting to ask R the 3 things when he came home from work while we were sitting folding laundry. I was really surprised by his answers, because I had figured I already knew the three he was going to say.  I have to admit I didn't just let him talk, well only on the first one  I tried to clarify but the rest I just kept quiet and took in what he had to say.
1. When the baby wants up sometimes I tell him just a minute and I finish doing what I'm doing. He says this bothers him when I do this.  I did clarify that many times I do this because when he wants up he wants to nurse.  Sometimes I don't want to nurse right that minute and I'm also trying to teach him that he sometimes has to wait to nurse.  He's 18 months old and sometimes we are in a situation where I can't nurse right there, so I think teaching him a little patience is a good thing. If E wanted up just to be held, I have no trouble stopping what I'm doing but I know how he works - he wants up, hugs me, then slithers into nursing position...
2. He says I'm harder on our oldest than I am the other kids.  I didn't say anything to this one, but I will now.  I don't see that I am.  I guess maybe sometimes I am because Bub won't whine and cry where Bean will. So maybe I let Bean get away with more because I can't stand the whining and crying.  I'll try to work on this.
3. He says that sometimes when we are having a discussion, I correct him and my tone makes him feel stupid.  This one I admit to easily. I can sometimes have a condescending tone or sarcastic tone and I can see how that would make him feel that way.  I will work on this.  I really don't want him to feel like I think he's stupid because that is so far from the truth.

I also know there are other things I do that bother him, so even though he didn't mention them I will work on those things as well.  I'm sure in the end it'll make me a much more pleasant person to live with.  Really no one wants to spend a lot of time with someone who is rude, so change is good. :)

How was this dare for you? Did you have a hard time admitting to your faults?  Were you surprised by the answers your spouse gave?

See how my friends who are also taking the challenge are doing:
@Peasinapod - Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom
@FlyingByFaith - Simply Complicated... That's Just Me...
@kjkmom2boys - Mom's Just One of the Boys
@ChainedAngel - Wanna Know What's for Supper???
@sherylk1515 - We are Never Alone 

If you would like to join in the challenge just leave me a comment and a link to your blog and I'll add you to the list. :)  P.S. It's never too late to join!

Love Dare - Day Five

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