Love Dare - Day One

>> Monday, October 12, 2009

Today was the first day of The Love Dare Challenge.  Today we were dared to be patient with our spouse. When I was reading the book last night a few things really struck a cord with me.  Since I know not all of you have the book that are doing the challenge I thought I would share them with you.
"...patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping it's scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil."
 That first bold statement I think not only describes what patience is, but also what I need to do.  Take a deep breath, clear the air - think before I speak. The second bold statement is so true for me.  I am a deeply emotional person and that in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's when I allow my emotions to take control of my actions in a negative way that the problems arise.  I must learn to take a deep breath or two or three.
"Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief. You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside. It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives."
 Oh how true this is for me! The end of the day I just want a little time to myself and so many times it feels like I never get 30 seconds unless I'm cleaning or cooking so I start taking it out on everyone (mainly my spouse, since I feel it's his job to help me out and allow me some time to myself) around me.

So how did I do today? Well, for the majority of the day it went well. I was calm, patient - even with the kids (usually I am fairly patient with the kids but I figure it can't hurt to make sure I'm trying to think before I speak with everyone).  That doesn't mean it was perfect.  When I was making supper and was getting frazzled and hubby asked a question I was quick to snap back an answer.  It did apologize because my snapping at him had nothing to do with him.  And I notice the more tired I get near the end of the day, the quicker I am to be snappy.  Sometimes I didn't even say the words but I did think them and the anger I felt inside, wow. But at least occasionally this evening I was able to control my tongue. I do need to work on being in control even when circumstances make it difficult.  I think even being aware of this now is going to help me though.  You can't fix what you don't recognize right? 

Another thing I need to work on is patience with my "looks".  Hubby has said many times that I can say a lot just by looking at him and sometimes the looks I give him make him feel badly.  It's true, sometimes actions can speak louder than words.  So I am not only going to work on keeping my negative words but also my negative looks.  Dirty looks are just as bad as dirty words.  Thank goodness this is a journey, because it's defiantly going to take some time.

How did you do today on your dare?  Did you find it easy or were there times you felt badly that you let your emotions control you?

Tomorrow's Challenge:
Day 2: Love is Kind (I read the challenge for tomorrow already and tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for me, but not in the way you might think...)

See how my friends who are also taking the challenge are doing:
@Peasinapod - Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom
@FlyingByFaith - Simply Complicated... That's Just Me...
@kjkmom2boys - Mom's Just One of the Boys
@CarriesCooking - CarriesCooking

If you would like to join in the challenge just leave me a comment and a link to your blog and I'll add you to the list. :)


Kara October 12, 2009 at 10:18 PM  

Your post makes me think that I should get the book! I can do what the web site tells me, but I think the more thorough explanations in the book would be beneficial.

Letting my emotions control me is a definite weakness of mine that I will continue to fight to change. I hate to hear myself when I let it happen - I can only imagine it sounds so much worse to DH and the boys.

Peasinapod October 13, 2009 at 11:09 PM  

I've never read the book, or seen the movie, but THANK YOU for quoting those passages, it's so much more inspirational than just the daily dare!

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