>> Sunday, October 18, 2009
Day six: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
This dare was a bit confusing. Even with the book I had to read it a few times to really understand the message of it. I get how being irritable is hard on people, especially in a marriage. Who really wants to be around someone who is grumpy all the time. I'm not irritable all the time, but as a woman I definately have times that I am more apt to be irritable. There are times when I am at the end of my rope and I much quicker to snap.
A couple of things from this chapter that gave me something to think about are:
"Ask yourself, Am I a calming breeze or a storm waiting to happen?At first it was hard for me to think about what I could marginalize in my life. I had to think about times in our life where I am more irritable, quick to be impatient and what is going on when I react that way.
Why do people become irritable? There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it:
Stress. Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health and causes you to be cranky...It can be brought on by relational causes: arguing, division, and bitterness. There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying, overspending. And there are deficiencies: not getting enough rest, nutrition or exercise.
Selfishness: ....Lust, for example, is being ungrateful for what you have and choosing to covet or burn with passion for something that is forbidden...Bitterness takes root when you respond in a judgmental way and refuse to work through your anger...Greed for more money and possessions will frustrate you with unfulfilled desires...Pride leads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation.
Here is what I have decided that I need to work on to help make me less irritable and more loving in my reactions.
To marginalize my life and reduce stress:
1. I need to work on becoming better at asking for more help when I need it. I usually just wish for help and then get very short tempered with those around me who are just playing & relaxing while I do all the work.
2. Arrange some "me time" so I can recharge.
3. Make better use of my time - less time spent on the computer so that I can get my work done and have time with the kids and my husband.
4. Work harder at not procrastinating.
5. Go to sleep earlier - 10pm at the latest every night.
6. Maybe try to incooperate some exercise daily
7. Make sure I eat well and take my supplements
Releasing wrong motivations:
I need to work on releasing my pride. While doing this dare I have become painfully aware of how selfish I can be. Many times I'll become irritable because I am worried about me...when I will get my break, when people will start helping me, and that's just a few examples.
Thinking about yesterday's dare where my husband said "that sometimes when we are having a discussion, I correct him and my tone makes him feel stupid." I think sometimes I do that because I like to be right. I like to show just how much I know about a given subject. Yes, just because I may know more than he does about some things doesn't make it right for me to make him feel stupid. That is my pride.
What did you learn from day 6? Was it hard to admit to any wrong motivations? How are you going to work at reducing your stress?
Today's Dare: Love believes the best
See how my friends who are also taking the challenge are doing:
@Peasinapod - Confessions Of An UnOrGaNiZeD Mom
@FlyingByFaith - Simply Complicated... That's Just Me...
@kjkmom2boys - Mom's Just One of the Boys
@ChainedAngel - Wanna Know What's for Supper???
@sherylk1515 - We are Never Alone
If you would like to join in the challenge just leave me a comment and a link to your blog and I'll add you to the list. :) P.S. It's never too late to join!
P.S.S. If you are enjoying this series on The Love Dare posts please feel free to leave a comment. Actually leave a comment even if you aren't. If you aren't enjoying it I really don't want to bore you. :)